When it comes to problems, it often feels like whenever it rains, it pours…whenever there is one big issue, there are soon to be ten. After a particularly hard day of body blow after body blow, I found myself reflecting on why my stress response isn’t specifically tied to the size/severity of the onslaught.
My realization…my emotional reaction is almost entirely based on the mental frame I place around the problem.
When I see myself as the protagonist of the story, battling to slay the dragons of adversity along the path of my epic quest, there is an invigorating feeling of fighting the good fight and knowing it’ll all work out in the end. Much like when watching Rocky (any of them) when he is on the ropes getting pulverized with his eyes swollen shut…but you know he’s going to find the will, the way, the little opening to come back and win the match and the girl.
Happily Ever After.
When I “know” the path I’m on is the right one, the problems? Set ‘em up and knock ‘em down. Doesn’t matter the velocity or ferocity they come at me with, (queue Eye of the Tiger) I’ll take the hits and keep coming back for more with a smile on my face…because I just know it will work out in the end.
When my armor is pierced and those little villains draw blood, is when I find myself second guessing my strategy, choices, or business model; when the fear of a dead end or a series of crappy dominos falling creeps itself into my mind.
This is when I get all twisted.
The greatest hits collection of head trash goes on repeat, turned up to 10:
“Why didn’t you just…”
“This is all going to crumble down around you.”
…or my personal favorite:
“Who are you to think you could…”
This is when I have to buckle down and really do my inner work to reframe my perspective to find the root of the shame, which is typically around a feeling of not having or being enough. This is best accomplished by comparing current state with where we’ve been, instead of where I think we should be.
It’s only when I parse out what is really bothering me underneath it all, I’m able to take back control of the narrative and figure out how to take the next best step. To remind myself that everything happens for a reason if I give it one, and that if I can choose to write my story, I can also choose how to end each chapter: Happily Ever After.
Where are the body blows giving power to the head trash in your life?
If you knew it was going to be a Happily Ever After ending, how would think about your situation?